Google-stalking

We've all done it. Admit it. You're curious about that certain someone, think it might go somewhere, you Google them. Or, you Google yourself to see what there is out there about you. Or, you Google your past. Old friends, enemies, exes.. All are free game for this.

And sometimes, just sometimes, you find the person you're looking for.

And sometimes you become giddy for a moment. A little triumphant even.

And sometimes that moment of triumph turns sour when you realize what you found was not such a good thing.

No, I'm not talking about jealousy or anything like that. You find some very, very sad news.

How do you feel? You don't know these people anymore. Do you have any right to mourn for/with them? You haven't seen/talked to/written in ages... But you do feel like grieving. You did know them well once. You were very close once. Stupid things got in the way. Life got in the way. You grew apart. But that doesn't erase what once was, does it?

I Googled an old friend today. Someone I hadn't seen/talked to/written in ages. I found an obituary. Not her's. Her son's. The boy that used to refer to me as his aunt. The one who practicially lived at my house. He was only 21. He would've been 22 in September. But, to me, he's always that gawky boy that I first met with the goofy smile.

He never aged in my mind. In my memories. Now he'll never age at all.